a riddle unsolved

what gives me the reason to love someone else? or what gives others a reason a chance to be love~

i know myself that i won't get into a relationship, till the day i'm confident to do so~ and i know that is something that i should do for myself~

guys are not good thinkers when it comes to love. which is true~ though i dare to admit that i'm someone who can't live without romance~

i hope someone can share their experience in the comment section right below this post~

and hey~ remember to study hard for tomorrows FPM paper~

Troubled days

here i am, blogging~ cause i have some things i encountered today~
erm~ woke up didn't feel so good. but anyway~ i went to meet up with serene to exchange back our FPM paper. *sorry for having you to wait awhile :S*

while i was on the way inside the train, i saw this couple in front of me. they behave quite cold, the expression they emits is like both have something to say, but dare not say out~ okay! here's the sad part! the train arrive at yishun station. the door open for quite awhile. and the guy look at her, says "i'm sorry! we break ba~"

he stood up & quickly left the station...
the girl couldn't react to it~ after the train door closed! she was in shock, tears just roll & started crying in silents. After i look at this scene, somehow i feel her pain. *i did tear a bit as well~*

but in the end, i just start to cheer up & think positive about what's my role & who am i now~ i can't sulk & get depress here! i gave that lady a pocket of tissue & i walk off to the other cabin~

this few days i can't get myself to sleep, didn't know the reason why~
haha~ yesterday night, i just can't stop thinking about you~ IDK why! or how it happen to make me think of you~ but i just can't help it?
all i can say to myself is that, have patience! results will come later, as long you don't give up! :)

horrible saturday

aww~ i didn't have a good rest at all!
have been mugging on FPM & from this i really need to work more on maths.
erm~ actually i slept at 10pm, but i had pulled my ham string while i was asleep, may be i stretched during my sleep, idk~.
woke up around near 12am *due to the pain*, chat with a new friend that i just got to know! had supper, anime & some space out at home till 5am, not forget my teeth hurts like hell~ *stoning*


at 6am, my dad turn off the air con, which had me sober a bit, 7am receive a sms, replied and go to sleep. 8am, another ham string pulled~ *FML* 9am, my bro rampaging my room, 11am, mum came to my room ask me to look after phoeobie. 12noon a sms, 1pm my house phone kept ringing~ *looking for grandma, when she's not home -.- * 2pm i can't continue to sleep already~


i hope to chat with ya more often, *the happy, cheerful, youthful & rocky you*
i know the path for me may be tough. but it's worth it~ cause it's you, that brought me out to believe again~ ^_~
*Beliefs is the only thing that makes my life worth living for, Once more*

His HOT! -.-''

It's true~ guys don't really like it!

hey, after viewing it, please do click any ads at the top, if you see any of it. :D

Slow love

I promise i won't rash things ever again ^^
because this song already been imprinted into my mind :3



--------- Beyoncé - Slow Love (Lyrics)--------------------------

i read all of the magazines
while waiting around
you said you couldn't wait to see me
but you got stuck in town
so turn off the phone
now we're finally alone
and some moments at the end of the day
feel your touch and it's the sweetest
your kisses are my weakness
i never want them to go away

Chourus:
i wanna feel you in my heart (heart)
as i look into your eyes (eyes)
no need to get busy so lets take our time
and make slow love slow love
and every minute that we have (have)
it goes too fast
wanna show you how to rock it
so this feelin last and
make slow love slow love
slow love slow love slow love all night

Verse 2:
it is just a few little things
that you gotta know
a girl will give you all of her heart
when it's happening slow
i need a little laughter
and love will follow after
lets take this chance to steal away
your kisses are delicious
and no one is gonna miss us
tonight i really want you to stay

Chourus:
i wanna feel you in my heart (heart)
as i look into your eyes (eyes)
no need to get busy so lets take our time
and make slow love slow love
and every minute that we have (have)
it goes too fast
wanna show you how to rock it
so this feelin last and
make slow love slow love
slow love slow love slow love all night

Bridge:
so im callin out do you hear my cries?
dont have to say goodbye
your the breath on my skin cherish the taste
it's far too good to go to waste
feel my desire
make sweet love all through
all through the night
make love through the night

Chourus:
i wanna feel you in my heart (heart)
as i look into your eyes (eyes)
no need to get busy so lets take our time
and make slow love slow love
and every minute that we have (have)
it goes too fast
wanna show you how to rock it
so this feelin last and
make slow love slow love
slow love all night

Chourus:
i wanna feel you in my heart (heart)
as i look into your eyes (eyes)
no need to get busy so lets take our time
and make slow love slow love
and every minute that we have (have)
it goes too fast
wanna show you how to rock it
so this feelin last and
make slow love slow love
slow love slow love slow love all night

Thoughts that count

If you want your future to be better than the present,
you have to give up some of what you presently
have in order to make room for the future. This
applies to personal matters as well as business matters.

It's true that at times, i wanna give up my current education that I'm currently pursuing. well, for now i just study for the ones i love & care about~

kind of like let them "an xin"

EM~ positive thinking is always the key to success! :)
lets just think it this way~ 3years getting to know more people?

guess my plans have to delay for around 3years? *army* LOL

AFTER READING THIS BLOG POST! KINDLY CLICK ON THE ADS ON TOP OR AT THE TOP RIGHT CORNER~ THANKS

living with LONE

the most scary part of life is not about the outside world, but it's the loneliness that fills that empty heart of yours.

Have you ever wonder why at times you can't sleep at night?
At times you wish that time will travel faster but it just ain't gonna cut it.
At times you wish some clown or anyone else just pop out of no where, just to make you smile?

haha, that's the kind of feeling I'm having this past 2days of my life~

it's true that getting a busy life is the remedy cure for it, but there are times, when the moment you got back home, inside that lonely room of yours~ you just can't get to sleep? it feels as if something is missing. something empty.

haha, i tried study like mad to divert that mindset out of me~ but it's kind of funny how human body work by itself~

tears just roll down while you're doing your work! *the moment i realize tears are falling, i just laugh & go out of my house, *to catch some fresh air* to a nearby basketball court & enjoy the night sky~

it's kind of foolish & waste of time but it does help someway~

how do i obtain peace? anyone ever think of that?

lonely night with PC

well, ytd night out was quite alone! due to some commotions at home~
i slack at a place which used to gave me a comforting feel, i doubt you even knew that, cause i felt is some what comforting, it does bring back some memories at the staircase. well, before going out i did chat with someone interesting. ^^

went back home around 5.30am! waiting for my dad to go out for work~

erm~ woke up having a very bad stomach problem.. may be is due to the cheese fries? idk~ LOL

i don't know about you~ but please don't think too much about it, ytd all i need is someone who used to be closed to me that all, no hidden agenda~ * it seems that the keep a distance is still there, but i guess everything takes time? cause not everyone can go at the same pace. :)*

oh yup! ytd night i chat with someone else & i share with her something about comfort zone. hm~ it seems I'm out of my comfort zone already~ but erm... never mind! LOL

gotta study like mad for this week already, gonna stop gym till i finish this semester. :) cause although my plan works, but my brain ain't~

relationship *friends* with people that understands you are hard to come by~
it does prove my quote " trust is something money can't buy! "

Night life

busy Saturday during the day & busy party during the night, It's Mr Ray birthday~ :)
The celebration took place at boat quay, inside a bar name "The White Bar"
It's all on the house, very interesting & fun place! The music awesome~ it's comparable to clubs, the DJ got skill & style to mix, i guess? LOL
i met a lot of fantastic people around.
even someone whom i just got to know have the same birth date as me~
photos will only be upload in facebook :)

A very interesting discovery, if i got too much alcohol, got high, NOT DRUNK! i tend forget names & i don't like chivas ~


I did dream of you, it really made my day

clear sky

hmm.. have a very frustrated start with all the "WHYS'" in my mind~ but it's not anymore~ because it has been cleared. :)

well, first location the swimming complex, supposedly i'm going to swim to with jeryl. but when i got there, he stop swimming already & thus he wetch a movie at his laptop named "army days" and we watch. :)

not long later i went to gym to do workout till 7.30pm. :)

went home, prepare to go out to meet ben for some drinking session. :)
FYI is cocktails~

but they left early, leave me alone drinking by myself. okay! here's the exciting but yarky part. i was being hint by a Caucasian guy, he sat beside me asked me if i would want anymore drinks? -.-''

i didn't reply, after i finish my drink! i just smiled & say no thanks..
*i'm not gay, though i dress nicely doesn't mean i'm one*

hmm~ here are some pictures to share with you guys :)


there is mint leaf, raspberry, kiwi and others! can't remember how to spell it~



here's the place! :) oh yup! it's at esplanade. :)

Uneasy day, *why are tears & pain are back*

today i woke up with a smile and super endu to do my workouts... chat with chris about some awesome anime~ and i leave for work!

today i started the day fine, but when i got home! the moment i got online, news feed to me like hell~

All of the sudden, my world of brightness just turn to a night thunderstorm... I HATE THIS FEELING
I don't know what did i do wrong? why are you doing this to me?
*Is it because of the things i posted in blog? or is the music video i sent to you? or is it the sms that i sent to you?*
i didn't do anything at all~
why do you hate me so much?

why must you do this to me~
i don't pest you or anything at all~

*I'm trying to get my world, my life, my rights, my chance, my will to live in the world & in order again.*
that's my only hope i'm holding onto now! i don't understand why must you avoid me till this extend~

must i really disappear from the sight of you than you won't hate me? do you know your that fuck up ex-boyfriends of yours come and disturb me? they called me cause it's either it's because he thinks that, he gotten your heart! and his so confident that he got you in his hands & come and be cocky with me~

what kind of man who dun even dare to own up his BIG fucking NAME~ OH!! i forgot his a boy that's why he don't owns up his big fucking name!

i bet if his reading this post, he must be very happy about what you're doing to me~

all i'm asking for is don't shut me out, i'm just trying to be friend with you, even if! i really mean IF you do wants me back or miss me or whatever, we can still go out as friends, keep in touch, things like that! *though deep inside me! i do wants you back~* BUT NO!!! NOT NOW~ BECAUSE I need & wants to focus about my priorities, my dreams & my life & my crack pot mindset to the correct path, get back to who I USED TO BE & A EVEN BETTER VERSION OF ME! BUT i need time~ the effort I'm putting in right now & I'm seeing progress, i'm working my way through~

most important thing is that i don't wanna lost a special friend like you~ i don't wanna lost someone whom i trust a lot~ I don't wanna lost that hope which give me the drive or a chance to achieve the future i wants~ i don't want to! all i wish is that how we can chat like how we used to chat in the past before we even got together~ that's the only thing i have in mind now~ Is that so difficult to begin with?

Uneasy day

urge~ didn't start my day well at all today. suppose to wake up at 7.45am today! but i was having giddiness, which make me feel light headed and spin spin spin, so i continue to sleep, till around 8.45am i got a call again~ YES!!! it's that coward. let me share with u what he says~

Johnson: hello?
fag: A~ you really like y***n alot arh?
Johnson: YA!
fag: you really really like her so much meh?
Johnson: YA!!
Johnson: What's your name arh?
fag: don't need to care who i am, not important~
fag: HAHA! A~ poly got so many girls, why must you still go after y***n?
fag: AIYA~ go after other girls lah~ don't after y***n already~ she got someone she like already.
fag: you really will wait for her the arh?
Johnson: ya~
fag: You won't mind i go after her right?
fag: aiya~ i know what you going to say! you will say: "i don't mind you go after her loh."
fag: A~ how about this lah! you bank transfer me 50bucks, I won't go after Y***n already.
Johnson: ....
Fag: aiya~ i joking with you only lah~ ok lah! i stop disturbing you already, happy waiting..

from this conversation, i still think you're still a coward. and you are such a childish boy! hmmp, i guess, childish boy got a small dick~ oh well!
anyway if you think you can grab her heart now. Think again, i doubt it will last long~ cause you're a jerk to begin with. sooner or later that mask of yours will be uncovered, furthermore! she's not that dumb, she's matured & catch things up easily! so good luck to you~

okay~ after that silly conversation, i went back to bed, but for no reason i have no idea, i just can't sleep well, cause my phone keep ringing? *forgot who sms me or call me again or may be my mum is the one. LOL*

I woke up at 2.30pm, and i chat with some of my friends in msn, facebook & sms. :)
soon after i went to gym to do my workout, oh yes! i decided to buy protein supplements. :) because it will speed up my recover & build muscle mass more efficiently. When i finish my workout, i called sherman to see if he's still in school, so i went to meet him up & ask him about one fpm question. :)
so finally, here i am blogging. :)

yesterday~ i posted that song is meant for you, the lyrics of that song kind of represent who i am now, as in my mindset.
I do miss you too, about tears fall by itself is true..
haha, i still remember there was a time you say this to me. "no wonder we're couples"

Effort & planning

hey, today i got something good to share with you, as you readers out there, as you can see my effort does pay off. :P Before i started gym since last week till now! I finally hit the 68kg range, from a 71.6 *FYI* Anyway I will keep up the effort and one day i shall obtain my prefect body. *wink* However, i still need to back up on my studies, because it seems that I'm still going at a pace too slow. :(

This 2days, I've not been feeling so well! as in mentally. :(
well, I'm not sure if I'm the guy that you needs or you need some other guy... *I'm still waiting for that password* :x
erm I won't assume or presume stuff, because there isn't any word from you or from any others, though it's always the worst case scenario that will happen to me. *my life kind of sucks*

well, i got a call from one of the BOYFRIENDS! you're childish... *really :) * called my hp, which i don't know where you got my number from? tell me stuff to back me up to get her back. *All this you don't have to teach me.* and what's more, when i keep forcing my way to ask who are you. when you finally give way & you just say that "I'm her ex..." Than i say "oO!! which one might you be? the first or the second?" *should be the first one cause the caller is from a shop & talks like a small gangster* you say this "aiya~ don't need to care if I'm 1st, 2nd, 3rd. I'll be her 4th. here i am calling to you is to tell you to 加油 & 公平竞争." *means back up and fair & square competition.* and after you say this you hang up on me. *FYI:This incident happen on 11March*

i find this, really childish! if you think you can win her heart than go for it. What I'm aim for is not just her heart, I'm aiming for a life that wins it all, in terms of pride, quality, confident, integrity, luxury, future, happiness & long lasting love. I do know you have lots of advantages to meet her & stuff, but think again i won't fail like how you failed before & I'll woo her back don't you worry! But for now i just wanna focus on my priorities & be friends with her, understand her, earn the mutual trust, respect & understanding with her, help her in anyway i can, in term of academics or anything within my time limit & power to do so! that's all :) but be warn, when I'm really confident & prepared I'll be the first guy who will woo her & touch her heart. :)

adventure ride

hey ladies & gentleman, today post will be adventure rides. :)
Well first off, it would be collecting my ITE graduation Certs. it made me had a goose chase for it, as I went to Dover ITE since Bukit Batok been close down. A surprise news tells me that my cert is not here, it's at The new ITE campus which is located at CCK. -.-''

so i took bus ride from dover to BB, from there took bus again to BB MRT station and to CCk, lastly take LRT to that place. :) *it looks like another simei ITE*

well, after gotten my cert, i rushed back to school and went to see miss tan regrading about my SP4, *bad grades*. Soon after went for allen liew lesson and showed him how's my progress and the day ended. lastly i went to have a pool game with sherman till 8pm.
so here i am, blogging about my journey. blah blah blah~




deep inside me, i cannot deny that I need you too~

Hungry Ghost Festival

YO! :)

Today went to the temple to pray & visit my grandfather, nothing much really. However, here's the interesting part for the day, while on the way home, there was this car that drives very slow and cut into my dad's line. As usual, he says somethings not to mention, than he later say this "walian~ look at that T cross so BIG!" i was like huh? than when i see it, i was kind of ROFL..
My mother says it's the 7th month, scared ghost can't see it. so it's ok!
*I'm sorry if i offense anybody"

well, I've been blog hopping for quite sometime & it seems to me that everyone will post something about this special month, so here's my encounter as well. :)

hmm~ from my point of view, Singaporean is really "kiasu". News~ -.-''




I really need to go back to golf to get back that patience level.

Peaceful saturday

YO!!!! it's a Saturday and here i am blogging *writing my dairy* :)
I woke up at around 1.30pm, didn't visit the gym in the morning just to rest my body. Although I'm home today, but i still did a little bit of revision like for half an hour? :S while the rest of the time busy planning with work.

Guess what? today i receive a very surprise sms from someone. :) It made my day and time seems to travels quick, before i even notice it, it's already 10pm. :)

Opps! i forgot to mention that i did some work out at home and running to lose some extra fats.

After a hot bath, "SOMEONE" send me this song 梁文音 - 我不是你想像那么勇敢.*cause she's complaining why did i mention her name* erm.. Not that bad & i appreciate it, thanks :)

Though i have some "side" feelings about it, but it didn't bother me as i know what i wants.

well, guess that's all for today. :)

Friday the 13th

YO! =3 erm~ I started the day late today, as i felt muscle aches from all over my body. :(
Hai~ Guess i need to do something about my time management to get more rest *sleep* or else i won't be able to keep up the healthy spirit to train more.. *improve more*

Anyway school is as usual, first i had lunch with jeryl, both of us had nasi brani with mutton curry. :) Soon after, i went to see allen liew, let him see my progress on the work i've done. :) I'm surprise that he release us early today. Gym is as usual today except that i started early from 4.30, ended at 6.40pm.

Here's the bad news, Friday the 13th really live up it's reputation, miss tan from sp4, miss called me twice, sherman once. so i called back to sherman since it's already passed 6pm. Sherman says miss tan is looking for me, wants to talk to me about my sp4, call her back on Monday. bad news :( *i hope that i won't fail*

Went home had dinner and i went to meet up with my business partners. shared with me some good news though. *balance my mood*

Now here i am.. typing typing typing =3

What matter most is the future i'm facing right now

i finally understand how does blogger's new blog design template works. =3
well, some even says why bother create a blog, it's boring~ I told that somebody that it's a dairy. *as well as trying to improve my english*

back to what I've been doing today. I'm surprise that I woke up early and went for the HMT make up lesson, erm~ had lunch with jeryl, serene, cheryl, jeevan, ben & sherman at mac. One advice, always ask sherman to eat first, because his really a slow eater.*he had me doze off a couple of time* No offense arh! :S

after lunch i head off to allen liew's daily class. he did screw me a little but not as bad as ben! (Y) Class ended at 5pm. Ben joined me for gym today, glad to have someone's accompany.

I know the road to success is tough, improving oneself is tough but it's a task i wants to accomplish, *This is will be the 2nd time in my life i wants something to be done so badly*
-The first time was golf & my life to be successful.
-This time round it will be my life, a beautiful life that will shine & touch your heart again. * I love you dear, wait for me*

hello ^^

Hey! this is my very first blog post for here. It's the beginning of a new chapter, the story of my life to perfection. OPPS! there will be further upgradings to this blog.